A child whose behaviour pushes you away is a child who needs connection more than anything else.
When a child’s behaviour feels challenging or pushes you away, it’s often a signal, not defiance for its own sake, but a need for safety, understanding, and connection. Behaviour is communication. Meeting that need means staying calm, curious, and present: naming feelings, offering predictable routines, clear boundaries, and genuine empathy. Through connection, eye contact, co-regulation, and respectful dialogue, we help the child feel seen and safe enough to lower their guard, learn new strategies, and rebuild trust. Connection doesn’t excuse behaviour; it explains it, and creates the conditions where positive change becomes possible.